When my hardest feels like my least….

UGH…there it was. The hard reality that my house was in desperate need of a good cleaning. Feet were getting dirty from being inside folks! This was it.

Anybody who knows me probably knows I hate cleaning. The way I feel about cleaning is likely the way most people feel about working out! I mean, I would easily rather run a full on marathon and scrub toilets!

The odd flip side to this is that I really don’t like anybody else cleaning either. I hired a great maid service one, but it never happened again. It’s not that I don’t want a clean house or that I like to live in filth (OK, maybe it’s not THAT bad), it’s that I have a martyr issue. I see a sword, and I will fling myself over it. Not before making my family take a good look first though….

Do you ever fall on your own sword? As a wife and mother I don’t think I should have to ask for help from my family, I feel it is owed to me since I help them so much. Anybody else on this train or is it just me?!?!? I point out what I do on top of what I already do. Is that confusing you? Try living with me!

You see, on days when I can only see my sword, I am quick to point out that I have accomplished more in 1 hour than my loved ones have accomplished all day. I mean, I run 2 businesses, have writing deadlines, deal with marketing issues, train for marathons, train others for life events and blah, blah, blah… It can all get to be too much. Not the work itself, but the feeling like “I” am the one doing it ALL.

We were never created to do it all. Even if you’re in the midst of a weight loss battle, you were not created to go it alone. Man was created for companionship. Not only that, but if I look real hard at my Bible study, my eyes begin to open to how I should see my circumstances. Each and every one of “my” things become acts of a grateful servant. These acts are then set up as offerings to the One who bought me, for a steep price. So then, when I see my sword of martyrdom (“I’ll just do it myself!” anybody ever say that?) and feel overwhelmed, I can change my tune….

 Thank You for a house to clean.

Thank You for children to care for.

Thank You for a loving husband.

Thank You for the time to train.

Thank You for the people You bring into my life.

Thank You for the food You provide.

Thank You for Your blessings.

Each and every act of the day can become an act of worship. Now, I won’t lie and tell you I have it all together! Oh, I still fall on my martyr sword more than I like to admit. Perhaps I should put it away ;)

“Strength and dignity are her clothing and her position is strong and secure; she rejoices over the future [the latter day or time to come, knowing that she and her family are in readiness for it]! She opens her mouth in skillful and godly Wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness [giving counsel and instruction]. She looks well to how things go in her household, and the bread of idleness (gossip, discontent, and self-pity) she will not eat.” Proverbs 31: 25-27


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