Moldova Day 3: Changing the Thought Process

One thing I am becoming most certain of is the fact that we are all human in nature. We have dreams, but many of us truly act upon them. We live in fear and doubt, instead of living in a place of action.

In Moldova, there are biological orphans and social orphans (like there are in many places). Biological orphans are so because both parents are deceased. Social orphans come to be because their parents simply do not want, or do not have the capacity, to take care of them. So, for many youth here they have received the message that are not worth the time or effort. The messages of your youth carry into your adulthood.

Because of this issue with feeling unworthy, many young people carry the burden of low self-esteem, low self-efficacy and general low tendency to think anything could ever come from their existence. This is a state of mind that many across the globe must learn to overcome….

One of the best things about my job is that I am privileged to see potential in people. When clients cross my path, they often expect to be judged for the lifestyle and then to be beaten into submission by one who so obviously must have it all figured out. They could not be farther from the truth : ). What I often see in clients is an extreme amount of potential blocked by self-imposed limitations due to the lies they have been sold all of their lives. It amazes me the amount of trust we put into simple human opinion…..

At the end of the day, we are all humans. The girls here in Moldova experience similar pain to what you and I go through when beginning a workout program or seeking any kind of change. The valleys in their minds run deep because of what they have faced and the lies they have placed their full trust and faith into. There are walls built in the mind to protect these lies because we fear if they ever get out we will be judged. So what do we do to break down these walls and bring about LASTING change, for these girls and for ourselves?

  • First, we do no harm. We cannot turn over the field of the mind so easily as it was hard-won by the darkness and will not so easily give up. We must approach it with a love and gentleness that will gain trust.
  • We must shed light to the dark places. Instead of always fighting against the darkness (and losing) we must commit to shining a light in the dark places to displace those thoughts. There isn’t an experience on this Earth that has not been shared! In other words, there are other people who have suffered and have been rescued from the pit of the mind. We must make our stories available to help others.
  • If we intend to help others, we must free ourselves from our own self-hatred and judgment. We cannot make strides forward if we are always looking behind us.
  • We must ask for help. Thinking we have to fight all by ourselves is self-destructive behavior and creates a hardened heart. Turning to others for help will enable cracks to form in the hardened walls of the mind.
  • We realize that we truly are all human. There are none created superior to the others, yet we allow these thoughts to take over and take hold.

One of the most gracious and heart melting phrases said to me this week was this:

“Thank you. You are the first person who has ever made me feel like they believe in me.”

How hard is it to go through life feeling as though you have nothing to offer? You may be there right now. I am telling you that if you still draw breath, then you are far from done here. You have more to offer than anyone has ever told you. Remember that you and I are created the same: humans created to help each other and show the light of love in the dark places of the world…and in the dark places of the mind.

On a side note, I was able to attend the 20th anniversary of the Light of the World church yesterday. I never knew the exact reason I couldn’t come here last year until yesterday. Two of the girls I met yesterday were baptized and they looked completely different. The dark shadows that had once clouded their eyes were gone. They had better posture and broader smiles…the look of girls who had experienced pain, yes, but also the look of girls who had experienced real love. It was a day for true celebration and a day of light in a dark place.

Until tomorrow,