Tough Love Tuesday: the MAIN Difference you need to know about

As always, Tough Love needs a disclaimer: if you need fluffy feel goods, scroll through the posts. I’m all about empowering others to reach their goals and make a difference. This requires tough love sometimes. If you’re ready, read on!

There are several differences in those who reach their goals and those who struggle with their goals. I am in the excellent company of goal reachers just about every day, and have been enlightened to the common habits of those who are most successful in reaching whatever goals they set for themselves. It’s just a few small changes that make a HUGE impact:

  1. We are consistent. We don’t dilly dally with goals. We set them, map them and WORK for them, period. There is no second guessing and there are certainly no excuses. When you’re trying to reach a goal, who has time for excuses?
  2. We don’t complain. This is a HUGE one in and of itself. It probably deserves it’s very own post. We don’t complain about food, meal prep or workouts. We don’t complain about schedules or how difficult things seem in relation to our food and workouts. Complaining will lead to excuse making. I get a lot of complainers online and in the gym Do you know how many clients who spend their time complaining reached any of their goals? ZERO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stop. Right now. Get it out of your way because complaining that the scale isn’t moving (it will move when I chunk it out of the window) or that you’re having meal prep issues, or family stuff, or stress or whatever. People don’t want to hear it and running your mouth burns just about as many calories as stuffing it….so stop.
  3. We think outside the box. What happens when things don’t go as planned? What if you work out after you drop the kids off and then the school calls because your kid is sick? Or what if you depend on a DVD program and your TV explodes? Yeah, life happens. Be grateful you still have life happening (see #2) and move forward. Take your workout outside. On this site alone there are workouts you can do at the park or around a track. Be creative and bust a sweat.
  4. We plan for success. Successful goal planning will lead to goal reaching. We don’t want for it and wish for it (as in: I wish I could get up early and work out…), we work for it.

Changing your mindset will change everything! Take the negative and dump it into the recycle bin of your mind. Work for what you are trying to accomplish. I still get told no and doors still slam in my face…but I don’t quit and I refuse to live defeated. Stop measuring yourself by the scale and start building yourself in the gym (or garage, or track, or whatever floats your fancy). Ultimately, YOU are the reason you win or lose. Make it happen!


The ABS in question

Tough Love Tuesday: Think Like an Athlete, Expedite Your Results


If you have never heard of Eric Thomas, be sure to look him up. He’s a very motivational speaker and also known as the Hip Hop preacher. He’s keeps everything real, which is my goal here.

So, let’s get some tough love in for today. Some of you will watch the above video and get inspired, but sadly most will simply pass by it. Success is defined by our beliefs. What do you believe makes you successful?

You see, I get the “lack of motivation” thing thrown at me all the time. I love the part in the speech above that flat-out states “You don’t really want it, you just kinda want it.” I work in the industry of health, nutrition and fitness. I encounter people who just kind of want it all the time. Please make no mistake, I am NOT talking about weight loss. To me, losing weight is the end result of a mind change, not a goal. Weight loss is a small change goal and a goal that I believe leads to failure. What I am talking about here is the opportunity to change your future. Do you want it? Do you want it so badly that you’re willing to go into that place where everyone else thinks you are crazy? Do you want it so badly that you stand out in the crowd? I came from kind of wanting it into fully engaged in getting IT a few years ago. THIS IS WHAT I DO. Health, nutrition and fitness is my life’s work and passion and when I tell you that YOU can change your future (and the future generations) I am serious. It takes getting uncomfortable though, and sadly most people are unwilling to be uncomfortable. Most people are so stuck in the rut they have made that they can no longer see the light at the end of the tunnel. And they CHOOSE to stay, because it has become their reality. You can change your reality and make it new.

The thing about comfort is this: God does not call us to be comfortable, He calls us to be comforted. It is important to make the distinction between the 2. We are called to stand out, to be weird, and to stand up. Our lives should not be surrounded in nothing but comfort, for in shallow comfort complacency breeds. And when we become complacent, we stop seeing the need for change.

So, how does this apply to those on this site seeking a healthier life? Stop waiting for motivation to strike. Schedule your workouts and plan your meals just like your schedule and plan any other part of your day. There really is no other way! Some will still carry the motivation flag to the grave, but let me ask you this: Do you have to be motivated to eat? Do you have to be motivated to wash your clothes? Do you have to be motivated to go to work? Do you need sheer motivation to drag yourself to the bathroom to pee? Health is an attainable lifestyle, but NOT if you allow yourself to rot in a place of complacency and excuses. Plan, and execute. Get uncomfortable and see how far you can go.


Tough Love Tuesday!

OK, so this post is not going to be for the faint of heart, but if you’re willing to accept the truth behind it then your life WILL change. That’s a big promise, but I deliver :)

Today I want to speak about those goals that you set, specifically your health and wellness goals. Keep in mind that these words will affect just about any goal though. My big question for you is “How is your resolve?” Are you going as strong as you set out to go? Or have you started to wain just a little? We’re only 10 days into the new year, but I know that’s plenty of time to start blurring the lines a bit.

In my line of work I see a lot of blurring. In my own fitness efforts I constantly have to overcome the need to blur. So, what am a talking about here? I’m talking about being totally honest with yourself. When you finished that last workout, did you really feel like you gave ALL you could, or did you hold back just a little? It’s human nature to preserve ourselves. We lift the weight and realize that although it is heavy we could probably go a little heavier. Then we decide to just keep that thought to ourselves for the sake of preservation. Did you  really stick to your meal plan ALL week? Not one single fudge right (lie, not candy!). You didn’t pick food off of your kids plates or nibble a bit of popcorn at the movies? KEEP READING! If you stop now, the blur gets worse…

The reason why I ask all of this is I have clients and students who move into the “Woe is me” attitude that they just cannot succeed where others (a VERY small percent of others) have. I’ve had clients self diagnose and search for any medical anomaly that will free them from the daily strife of improvement. I’ve had many who flat out lie to me. How do I know? Because I do it, duh! However, the thought that plays over and over in my psyche is the indisputable fact that life is made of the CHOICES we make. Think about it: you choose to get married, to have kids, to get up and go to work everyday, etc. I have clients say, “I HAVE to work!”. My response? So, you choose not to live under a bridge? Bravo! It’s all about choices. What choices do you need to make today?

We choose what we eat. Don’t roll your eyes! You have the same choice as everybody else: Do I pack healthy snacks just in case, or do I leave it to chance and end up hitting a random drive through for something more than mostly likely fried and void of nutrients? We choose if and when we move. Yeah, yeah, I totally know that your day came with far fewer hours and you will feel vindicated when everybody else finally admits that! So what if you don’t have 2 hours to spend in the gym (hello? me either). Take a 5 minute walk several times per day, stand up at your desk and do a few squats, jump an imaginary rope in the bathroom, do push ups during your favorite TV show, just do something! Speaking of TV, I find it intolerable that those who claim to not have the “time” to work out can ALWAYS tell me who was voted off the ranch. Something to think about….

As parents, our choices affect more than just us. What we choose eventually trickles down to the next generation. Youth obesity and it’s detrimental effects are on the rise. What does that say about our choices? Is it OK to sleep in on a Saturday? You bet! Is it acceptable to indulge in some holiday sweets and birthday cake? YES! Is it OK to become apathetic about the life you could have because making the choices is just too damn hard? Absolutely not. You are worth a tiny amount of effort to eat better foods that are better for your overall health (a smaller waistline is really just an added bonus). You are worth moving during the day to ensure your heart keeps working for you! You are worth the 5 minutes it takes to plan out some meals for the week. Every Time you choose to ignore your basic needs for health and fitness you reinforce that you think you are worthless. Harsh, but ultimately true.

So, what will you do with this information? Studies shows over 90% will never read it again. Be the 10 % today. Let go of fad diets (Um, meal replacement shakes anyone?) and fuel your body right. Make small changes each week. Don’t expect perfection, but strive towards your best self everyday. Keep moving forward!